Skip to main content

68


" I miss Nanny."  That's what my daughter said a few minutes ago when we were talking about my mom and her nana.  She just knows she's in heaven and in our hearts, always.  My daughter has even said to me that she wishes nanny was alive.  Me too kid.

 It sucks so bad.  I miss my mom so much, it stings.  A few saviors for me have been: being busy with our new home, being busy with my young daughter, being busy with work and the logistics that need to happen when it comes to driving my kid to school, my husband picking her up or me, and right now, my dad watching her on Fridays, basically 9-5pm.  It's a long day for everyone.  The busy Christmas season just ended ( thank God) and it's a new year.  I have to keep moving forward because it's my only savior.  

 Other more recent saviors: my best friends wedding stuff , ( less then four months to go)!!  keeping up with exercise and trying to stay as healthy as I can, planning my daughter's 5th birthday party which is less then two months away. (!!!) crazy!  And good music helps, cooking, baking and writing.  Baking keeps me sane.

 So yeah, I'm busy and I love it and everything combined is all surely helping.  But not a day goes by that I don't think about my mom.  I hope she's having a glass of wine with some creme brulee, her favorite dessert. Surprisingly, she was never a chocolate fan!  Today is my mom's birthday.  She would have been 68 years old. 

 Happy Birthday, mom.  Love you.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Two: Mother and Daughter

Two: Mother and Daughter If anyone liked putting the cart before the horse, it was my mom. Her sweet, caring and sensitive nature made up for her almost always jumping to conclusions in almost any given situation. Now that I think about it, my memory only truly recalls that particular flaw of my mom getting the best of me. Whenever I had something to tell her, regardless of its importance, she wasn’t the best listener. She would never just take the information at hand, process it, and then make an informed decision.   At least that was my hope; whenever I’d call her with my fingers crossed. Flaw or not, she was a pro at making assumptions. Here’s a fun story for ya. When our daughter was three months old, my husband and I decided to get her baptized. Being non-religious folk, both my husband and I purely went along with the baptism to mainly please both of our mother’s.   For the record, we both didn’t really have an opinion on it, but knew it would be helpful one day for
2 comments
Read more

Five: Week of Hell Timeline

Five:   Week of Hell Timeline 2/5- Emergency room.   They finally moved mom to the ICU around 11pm.   My dad and I went home around 9pm once we knew they had a hospital room for her. 2/6- Full day in ICU, lots of visitors of family and friends.   Dad and I had a private conversation with Palliative care and discussed and eventually confirmed placing mom in local hospice care provided by Samaritan. We also spoke with many different doctors which is the usual in this scenario. The building was on the same grounds as the hospital.   It was very convenient. 2/7- Mom’s last day in ICU until around 8pm when they moved her to hospice.   One of my cousin’s and my husband stayed with my dad and I until they were about to transfer mom.   Dad and I stayed until mom was settled. This was the first day my in-laws brought my daughter by to say hello and see her Nana.   Though my mom looked nothing like herself, I wanted Claire to see her and vice versa.   They both deserved that.
Post a Comment
Read more

Three: Treatment One: Chemotherapy

Three: Treatment One: Chemotherapy On December 27 th , 2016, my husband and I met my parents at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Voorhees, NJ. We met with mom’s main oncologist, and a different doctor, Dr. Alex.   According to my mom, she loved him immediately and felt very comfortable.   Really, that’s all that mattered. That other doctor who I mentioned earlier about misdiagnosing my mom with pancreatic cancer did not bode well. My mom didn’t’ care for his bedside manners and she had every right to feel that way.   She was the patient after all. I remember briefly mentioning to Dr. Alex about cells on mom’s pancreas, “stage 4 pancreatic.”   And he calmly said to me, “well when we looked at your mom’s scans, there was nothing on the pancreas. Forget about the pancreas.   She was just misdiagnosed.”   I remember feeling relieved and irked at the same time.   He said it in a tone that was so calm and nonchalant, as if he was getting the check for a coffee. I guess we, the patients and
Post a Comment
Read more