February 11 th , 2018:   The day my mother passed away I don’t think I got in bed until 11pm on the 10 th , but I know I didn’t sleep well at all.   My dad had a restless night and so did my grand mom, aunt and my two uncles.   I feel my mom knew it was time, knew none of us would sleep well and wanted us all to surround her.   I got the first call from my dad around midnight.   I maybe was asleep for a half hour, I really have no recollection.   But I woke up feeling all around shitty.   I felt shaky and completely exhausted.   Dad was home at this point and he told me the nurse just wanted to give him a heads up that mom’s breathing is more shallow and faint.   She told him it could be within hours.   I actually told my dad to call me back and I guess I went back to sleep.   It sounds selfish and strange, but that’s what happened.   I took the first phone call as a warning.   I just knew I had to lie back down be...

Five:   Week of Hell Timeline 2/5- Emergency room.   They finally moved mom to the ICU around 11pm.   My dad and I went home around 9pm once we knew they had a hospital room for her. 2/6- Full day in ICU, lots of visitors of family and friends.   Dad and I had a private conversation with Palliative care and discussed and eventually confirmed placing mom in local hospice care provided by Samaritan. We also spoke with many different doctors which is the usual in this scenario. The building was on the same grounds as the hospital.   It was very convenient. 2/7- Mom’s last day in ICU until around 8pm when they moved her to hospice.   One of my cousin’s and my husband stayed with my dad and I until they were about to transfer mom.   Dad and I stayed until mom was settled. This was the first day my in-laws brought my daughter by to say hello and see her Nana.   Though my mom looked nothing like herself, I wanted Claire to see her and vi...

Four: Treatment Two: Immunotherapy and Setbacks One of the many setbacks my mom would encounter once the fall came around was fluid retention in her abdomen. It would be the most annoying and painful setback for her. She was off treatment of any kind for close to two months because of this fluid buildup.   Also during that time, her liver became inflamed and irritated. Mom’s doctor wanted her off treatment for a few weeks to allow her liver to heal and manage the fluid. By December, mom’s doctor decided she needed to be back on treatment, but that they would try something new.   Chemo was out the window and Keytruda would be next. Keytruda is an immunotherapy treatment that works with your immune system to help fight cancer.   Mom received two treatments, only once every three weeks.   They were given on December 14 th and January 4 th of 2018. By now, the cancer just had more of a head start and was rapidly beginning to spread.   I don’t believe thi...